Lost in translation part II

The other day I described my bewilderment at hearing the vernacular spoken at work.

More recently I heard something that proved to me that I will never be on the cutting edge of cool. I heard a person describe something as “mad decent.”

Mad decent.

As one knows, the word ‘decent’ describes something that is adequate or satisfactory. As one also knows, the word ‘mad’ can mean anything from angry to crazy.

Pair these words and you are now (apparently) describing something amazing and/or awesome.

Is there a school I can attend to learn how to generate new expressions? Or is there a formula for slang phrases that I am unaware of?

(But seriously.)

Take-charge girls

Today my dad was talking about some of the students that ride his school bus. There are a few assertive girls on the bus, he says, that like to help him keep the peace.

He refers to them as the “take-charge girls.”

Little Robby won’t sit down when he is supposed to?
Leave it to the take-charge girls.

Tommy and Billy are fighting?
Leave it to the take-charge girls.

Jimmy’s not shutting up?
Leave it to the take-charge girls.

I don’t know, there is something about the phrase “take-charge girl” that I love. Especially when picturing little 9 and 10 year old take-charge girls.

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Speaking of girl power, Emma Watson has been on-point with her #heforshe campaign the last few days. That’s my girl…

…my take-charge girl.

Emma-Watson

Lost in translation

Nothing makes me feel out of touch quite like hearing my coworkers talk to each other.

On a vocabulary scale of soccer mom to Bay Area, I generally consider myself somewhere in the middle. But when I hear my coworkers talk to each other, I wonder if I’d understand them more if they were speaking Indonesian.

And it’s not because they mumble or talk like this girl:

lilly gif

It’s because of the words they use. For instance:

“Ey yo that’s gonna be heat.”

“Bro can you whip it?”

“Those joints are wet.”

“They clean.”

“Check my new come-ups.”

By now I know what the above phrases/words mean, so I feel a little less suburban than I used to, but my question is how can I stay on my slang game? Sure, there is Urban Dictionary, but it’s hard for me to picture my coworkers hearing something and having to look up the meaning.

Is there a way I can be proactive about my slang? Maybe there’s an app for that…

Oktoberfest and married women

This weekend DJ and I joined my family at the Oktoberfest festival in Mt. Angel. It was less annoying than last year, which was good.

Oktoberfest is weird to me, though, because it is a celebration of all things German, but people are going ham doing the chicken dance everywhere and singing the Fast Food Song (“Mcdoooooonalds Mcdoooooonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut”), and the beer is not as good as it should be.

I did fall back in love with one of the regular performers, but when she opened the paper with my number on it that DJ threw onto the stage, she looked at him (haha sucker) and exclaimed “I’m married!”

To be clear, she was not wearing her ring.

Such is life I guess. We were going to have a really fun life ahead of us, though, if my imagination/on-the-spot-life-planning were correct.

But now as I sit here contemplating my life, wondering if I will always fall in love with married women, I find myself going to sad places in my mind.

Quick! Taylor Swift!

Ah, much better.

Free things

I think we can all agree that free things are the best. On the count of three, let’s agree together: 1………..2………..3!  (Great job!)

Recently at work I got a free Tony Gonzalez Falcons Jersey and matching Falcons gloves.

YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH BABY!!!!!!1

What’s that you say, Gonzalez is already retired? Don’t care, they were free!

What’s that you say, I’m not a Falcons fan at all? Don’t care, they were free!

What’s that you say, I literally have no space in my room for these items? Don’t care, they were free!

Then U2 released their latest album several days ago, and guess what… You can download it for free!

YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH BABY1!!!!!!

Do I listen to U2? No.

Do I like U2? Meh.

Do I want to download their CD if it is free? Abso-freakin-lutely.

Will I listen to it? Only time will tell.

Then there was yesterday at work. We were having a BBQ and there were free shoelaces for us to take!

YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH BABY!!!!!!11

I could not think of a single pair of shoes I would need brightly colored and patterned laces for. But did I care? No, they were free!

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Isn’t it weird, though, how when something is free it becomes a thousand-infinite times more appealing?

That Falcons gear? I wouldn’t have even paid $5 for it.

Those laces? I can buy them for $2 at any time. They are basically already free, and I never even consider purchasing.

I don’t have a problem, though. I can stop anytime I want.

Distractions

I think when I am writing I am more intentional with my life. So I’m going to experiment a little and start writing more to see what happens. Maybe I will become president. 

And now my train of thought is completely lost because the guy sitting in the lobby with me at the mechanic just pulled the most delicious smelling food out of his backpack. It smells like a warm turkey dinner. I’m. So. Hungry. And confused. 

Alright, well I didn’t really know where I was going to take this post, but now I can’t think of anything except this man’s food, so give me a second. 

Welp, I got nothing.