In addition to reviewing grammar this week, we are reviewing the 6 traits of writing, which if you didn’t know, are ideas, organization, voice, sentence fluency, conventions, and word choice.
As we went over the trait of organization, the students had to find a newspaper article with good organization, and then rewrite the information with poor organization. The goal of this exercise is that by intentionally creating a piece with poor organization, they would have to be familiar with what good organization is. I’m hoping they got it.
One of the groups took it a little further, and altered sentence structures as well. Before I share their final product, I should give you the background of the article. It was an article written about the negative side affects of playing video games too often. It stated that it can be bad for your health, and cited a case from England about a student who had a pulmonary embolism that was in part because of all his video game playing.
Here is the students’ revision:
“Video Games Kill, Dangerous
Video games very good very fun. Do you play it long? Someone got killeds someone died because of blood-clot problems. Addicted. Very addictive. Once play, no stop. It’s not your fault, it’s your brain’s. Brain fools you. You let your hobbies turns into needs.”
I have never been so proud of such bad grammar.
TimelyObservations 